Dealing with Separation Anxiety at the Start of the Montessori School Year
Have a prepared “first day of school” snack set out to welcome students. Most children overcome this anxiety by age two, especially those who experience being left in the care of others for short periods of time. I did not, however, take into account the tears from my first graders as moms and dads left them at my door and went to work. The first day of school can bring about a reoccurrence of separation anxiety for some children. Be prompt at pick-up and turn off your cell phone so you can focus all your attention on your child. Have transitional materials plainly visible near the door so children are greeted with familiar materials. Modeling appropriate behavior and attitude plays an important role in the success of the first day of school. It is therefore important to create a sense of trust and security so a child understands she is not being left alone. Attempts to leave the child alone, either with a caregiver or in their bed to go to sleep, are often met with anxiety and tears. I had been teaching in a Montessori upper elementary classroom for several years when my director asked me to take over as lead teacher in a lower elementary classroom. Don’t linger in the parking lot. Tips for Parents
Create and establish peaceful (and happy) morning routines. Engage the child in meaningful work as soon as possible. It is often caused by the fear of the unknown in a new situation. Always say goodbye to your child and include a light hug and/or kiss. Place “love notes” in your child’s lunchbox and a picture of her family in her backpack. Luckily, my assistant had experience with this sort of behavior and quickly helped diffuse the situation before all 32 students decided they, too, missed mommy and daddy. Separation anxiety is a normal part of development in children, usually ranging from eight months to two years of age. Do not allow parents into the classroom. Read books together about going to school. Tell her you’ll be back when school is out. When a baby is not able to see an object in front of her, she believes it to have disappeared. I had, I thought, thoroughly prepared my classroom environment in anticipation of the first day of school. (Check beforehand regarding food allergies). Prolonged goodbyes are harder on both child and parent. Around eight months, a child begins to understand about object permanency. Allow the teacher to assist her in the classroom. Don’t linger and peek through the classroom door or window. Don’t cry! Parents’ attitudes as well, often play a deciding role in the child’s outlook and approach to starting school. Stay positive and enthusiastic at drop off. For one little girl in particular, her whole body was wracked with sobs as she ran out the door in a desperate attempt to stop her mother from leaving. Instead, have older children act as classroom ambassadors, welcoming younger classmates and showing them where to put their lunch, hang their backpack, and where the bathroom is. Suggested Books
First Day Jitters, by Julie Dannenberg
Mouse’s First Day of School, by Lauren Thompson
The NAMC Classroom Guides provide guidance and insight for starting the school year well. Tips for Teachers
Greet children at the door, shaking hands and introducing yourself, welcoming her to your classroom. I’d always been fascinated by the curriculum of the Montessori lower elementary and the natural inquisitiveness and wonder of the lower elementary child.
No tags for this post.